Can you forgive the unforgiveable?
There are times when it's worth reconnecting with a loved one.
When is reconciliation worth it?
In considering a reconciliation, ask yourself whether the good outweighs the bad in the relationship.
Keeping expectations realistic is a requirement for reconciliation.
Is it possible for people to find their way back to each other after what might feel like a permanent rift in an important family relationship?
A surprisingly high number of people have no contact with a sibling or a parent or other family members either because of one ultimate betrayal or a series of offenses that culminate in a breaking point. People can go years without talking, and then for one reason or another wonder one day whether they should consider reaching out and possibly trying to mend the crack.
Take Britney Spears, for example. There have been rumors that in light of losses she has experienced lately, including her divorce from Sam Asghari, she is considering reconnecting with her father. The two have been alienated from each other for some time, and it is widely known that she has said he acted as her conservator against her will and allegedly abused her for over a decade.
The big question is, can a relationship come back from that? Is it worth it to try? How can you make sure you don’t end up exactly where you were when the relationship ended? And finally, can you forgive and forget?
There are many circumstances under which someone might rethink a schism with a family member. There might be a loss or traumatic event in your life, as with Spears' divorce. Maybe there has been a loss of a job or someone important moved away. Maybe a child has been ill, and you are feeling adrift and wanting more support. Or maybe the person you haven’t spoken to in some time has become sick themselves. That might have been another motivation for Spears, since there was talk of her father being ill.
When that happens, people might either feel guilty about not having contact or realize that they may not have forever to make amends. Whatever the case, it is often an event or situation that makes someone long for the family bond, sometimes prompting thoughts of the fragility and brevity of life life and the desire to reach out.
Reports of Britney’s mending relations with her father are conflicting; some say she is considering it and others say she is not. Perhaps she realized it would be too difficult, that not
enough has changed with her father to make anything easier between them. Whatever the case, if you decide leaving well enough alone is the way to go, trust your gut. But if you think
reconnecting will bring more good into your life than staying apart, and you believe you can see the person clearly and that you have the strength to handle any negativity that might come your way, then picking up that phone and making the call might do you all some good.