6 Resolutions Sex Therapists Want You to Make This Year
BY MENS HEALTH STAFF | MAY 1, 2021
It’s easy to make the same New Year’s resolutions year after year: Eat less junk food, exercise more, and stick to a budget. The point is, we are slacking on making resolutions that are actually fun—like having more sex.
Vowing to make the New Year hotter can transform your love life. Even sex therapists make these steamy resolutions. “At the beginning of last year, I resolved to initiate sex more often because I usually leave it to my partner,” says Dr Jess O’Reilly, resident sexologist and relationship expert for Astroglide.
“He doesn’t complain, but I see the toll it takes on relationships at work, so I wanted to be proactive.”
Because resolutions usually centre around change, they can promote sexual growth—and that can boost your relationship with your partner and your libido, says O’Reilly. Ready to get started? Here are six expert-approved resolutions you should make for a steamier 2017.
1\ Tell Your Partner How You Want Sex To Feel
“Telling your partner how you want to feel during sex is easier to do than revealing each and every detail of your explicit fantasies (not that you shouldn’t share those too). … For example, maybe you want to feel desired or enjoy a sense of reckless abandon? Tell your partner how to make you feel that way. You can certainly share the entire fantasy, but don’t ignore the associated feelings—they’re the driving force behind it.” —Dr Jess O’Reilly
2\ Put Yourself First
“Don’t just look to please your partner without sharing what excites you. You deserve to have a fulfilling experience too.” —Dr Jane Greer, author of What About Me? How to Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship.
3\ Spend 15 Minutes A Week Turning Yourself On
“Create a 15-minute window once a week where you and your partner commit to generating arousal that may lead to desire—and maybe sex. However this exercise isn’t meant to lead to sex every time. It’s about generating arousal. Studies show that in long-term relationships, desire shifts from spontaneous to responsive, and desire responds to arousal. During those 15 minutes, you can make out, take a shower together, watch porn, or read erotica.” —Dr Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First