8 Seemingly Nice Comments That Come Off Rude
May 20, 2019
It's so easy to say something rude without meaning to at all. Suddenly one extra word or an unintentional phrasing choice makes it sound like you're offending another person, when you actually meant to say something kind. It's impossible to completely avoid putting your foot in your mouth, so to speak, but having a good idea of how certain phrases come across can help you better say what you mean. These nice comments that can actually come off as rude can be tweaked pretty easily, according to experts, with just a little extra consideration of how the other person could perceive them.
Asking when someone's getting married, getting pregnant, or whether they are already pregnant are some sensitive subjects that it's best to avoid bringing up in most situations, Christine Scott-Hudson, MA, MFT, ATR, a licensed psychotherapist and owner of Create Your Life Studio, tells Bustle. Since you probably don't know the difficulties of someone's situation, you don't want to cause unintentional harm by bringing up something that could be very hard for them to talk about. Instead, a good rule of thumb is to ask "What have you been up to lately?" to let them share only what they're ready to tell you about, she says.
Besides these generally tricky topics though, there are some sneakier comments that don't initially seem like they'll cause trouble at all. According to experts, here are some nice comments that can come across as rude or insensitive.
Telling someone that they seem like they're doing great might seem like a huge compliment. But you never really know how someone is doing, especially if you aren't very close with them, so phrasing things this way isn't necessarily a great choice. "For people with mental illness or high-functioning anxiety or depression these phrases can feel invalidating and unsupportive," Erica Hornthal, LCPC, BC-DMT, tells Bustle. Instead, try asking how they are feeling, or simply saying, "I hope you're doing well." Those options give the other person the opportunity to open up if they choose to without making them feel misunderstood.