When Can You Be Yourself?

Typically celebrities meet and fall in love while they are working on a project or walking down the red carpet, so they are usually at their best. They look great and are geared up to stand out. So the question is, if you meet under fairy tale circumstances, when can she let her hair down with a romantic partner and just be herself? And you certainly don’t have to be a celebrity to be faced with this dilemma.

            Anyone who is beginning to date can get caught up in working hard to be their best self – whatever that might mean. You want to be seen in the greatest possible light, which might lead you to always make sure your hair, make-up and clothes are perfect. It might also force you to be super aware of what you are saying and doing at all times, wanting to make a good impression. Not only does that require a whole lot of energy, it might ultimately lead to your holding back from expressing your own needs in an effort to make the other person happy.

            What happens, though, if you let your guard down and express your preferences? Does your partner welcome it, or get annoyed and make demands, wondering where the old hyper-solicitous person went? If all is well, hopefully you feel accepted and you can continue to open up and be yourself, which will make the relationship grow. If not, and your partner seems uncomfortable with the real you, then talk about the things that are important to you and see if they are able and willing to understand them and be responsive. If they can’t, and your boyfriend or girlfriend seems to want just that “best” you, then you might be in a dead-end relationship.

            The goal is to be able to relax and feel safe, so that you can be genuine and not self-conscious. You want to feel free to voice your wishes, and not worry about being judged.  After all, who can be red carpet-ready all the time?