Do Your Past Mementos Affect Your Present?

Celebrities are often confronted with released photos of ex-lovers. The photographs are out there, on magazine covers and blogs, and are hard to entirely remove even after they have gone on. But what if you're not in the public eye? Say, for example, that you’ve been dating for a few months now. Everything is great and your new relationship is growing at a comfortable rate. But last night he found that big box behind the couch, the one with all the pictures and letters from your old boyfriend. It was the first time you saw him get really angry, jealous even. He accused you of holding onto the stuff because you are still attached to your ex. So what do you do? Do you have to get rid of it all? What if you don’t want to?

The most important thing that can come into play here is communication. Explain that you are not holding onto these things because you still have feelings for your former partner, but rather because you are holding onto the part of yourself you discovered then. In truth, it has less to do with the person you left behind and more to do with the shared history that was a marker on your past. Instead of thinking of it as a barrier between you and your new partner, think of it as a breadcrumb trail to who you were, and that way you can share how you’ve grown

If, on the other hand, the mementos have no real meaning, then it is fine to just throw them out. But before you do that, accept that they can often be less about the person you were involved with, and more about who you were when you were with that person. Knowing that gives clarity to the meaning of those pictures and letters.